Onion parody

East Timor’s First Female Dictator Hailed As Step Forward For Women

Amivi Gama’s violent rise to power has proved that women are just as capable as men when it comes to brutality and oppression.

Of course, they aren’t. There has never been a female dictator or conqueror. There are only two ways that women can become heads of state. They may get elected in democracies sympathetic to feminism, though it is exceedingly obvious that voters prefer male leaders. And that includes female voters; women have had the vote for decades and male politicians still far outnumber female ones. In fact, there were more female heads of state when most heads of state were monarchs and not elected politicians. Which leads us to the other way women can become heads of state: be born to it. No woman has ever seized power for herself or carved out an empire of her own, unless you believe the legends of Amazons.

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6 Responses to “Onion parody”

  1. SellCivilizationShort Says:

    The legends of the Amazons have a kernel of truth. There really was a tribe called the Sarmatians, and they really did have female warriors. The Romans used squads of female cavalry as mercenaries. However, they were not well-organized enough to administer themselves as a nation until they shifted to male-dominated monarchy. After that, they were called Poland. You may have heard of them.

  2. SellCivilizationShort Says:

    The legends of the Amazons have a kernel of truth. There really was a tribe called the Sarmatians, and they really did have female warriors. The Romans used squads of female cavalry as mercenaries. However, they were not well-organized enough to administer themselves as a nation until they shifted to male-dominated monarchy. After that, they were called Poland. You may have heard of them.

  3. SellCivilizationShort Says:

    The legends of the Amazons have a kernel of truth. There really was a tribe called the Sarmatians, and they really did have female warriors. The Romans used squads of female cavalry as mercenaries. However, they were not well-organized enough to administer themselves as a nation until they shifted to male-dominated monarchy. After that, they were called Poland. You may have heard of them.

  4. Davout Says:

    The Sarmatians and Parthians had their empires near the Black sea. Both had a large contingent of horse archers, many of whom were women, who were primarily supposed to fire arrows into a mass from a distance. Cataphracts and infantry, who were supposed to engage in close combat after the horse archers had done some damage, had few if any women.

    Both used strategic depth to their advantage: fire at the enemy, retreat, have the attrited enemy follow and then fire at them again. This would continue until the enemy was sufficiently weakened so as to allow the cataphracts and infantry to charge.

    Women have frequently been employed, albeit almost exclusively, in long distance firing capacities. Female snipers featured at the battle of Stalingrad and I’m fairly sure that a number of them operate predator drones that fire at ‘insurgents’. However, these roles are always ancillary, never primary, roles.

  5. Davout Says:

    The Sarmatians and Parthians had their empires near the Black sea. Both had a large contingent of horse archers, many of whom were women, who were primarily supposed to fire arrows into a mass from a distance. Cataphracts and infantry, who were supposed to engage in close combat after the horse archers had done some damage, had few if any women.

    Both used strategic depth to their advantage: fire at the enemy, retreat, have the attrited enemy follow and then fire at them again. This would continue until the enemy was sufficiently weakened so as to allow the cataphracts and infantry to charge.

    Women have frequently been employed, albeit almost exclusively, in long distance firing capacities. Female snipers featured at the battle of Stalingrad and I’m fairly sure that a number of them operate predator drones that fire at ‘insurgents’. However, these roles are always ancillary, never primary, roles.

  6. Davout Says:

    The Sarmatians and Parthians had their empires near the Black sea. Both had a large contingent of horse archers, many of whom were women, who were primarily supposed to fire arrows into a mass from a distance. Cataphracts and infantry, who were supposed to engage in close combat after the horse archers had done some damage, had few if any women.

    Both used strategic depth to their advantage: fire at the enemy, retreat, have the attrited enemy follow and then fire at them again. This would continue until the enemy was sufficiently weakened so as to allow the cataphracts and infantry to charge.

    Women have frequently been employed, albeit almost exclusively, in long distance firing capacities. Female snipers featured at the battle of Stalingrad and I’m fairly sure that a number of them operate predator drones that fire at ‘insurgents’. However, these roles are always ancillary, never primary, roles.

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