New Essay at The Spearhead

I have a new post up: Self-Control: A Masculine Quality.

Several commenters have related that they know married couples who fight a lot, and the women don’t understand why, after being subjected to enough vicious insults and verbal attacks, their husbands lock themselves in their mancaves saying quietly, “Please just leave me alone,” or get in the car and drive off. These men are removing themselves from the temptation to retaliate physically, which is what men are made to do.

Given that women are more verbal creatures and more perceptive about personality, we’re capable of inflicting a lot more psychological pain with our words than men are. Now that women are sheltered from harmless reminders of male anger, they feel free to tear their men apart with words and expect men not to fight back with their own weapons.

These men mentioned in those comments are exercising a commendable degree of self-control. But really, we shouldn’t be demanding so much of them. It’s unfair to men to ask them to absorb so much abuse.

But it’s become normalized. I watched a few episodes of The West Wing a few years back, and I was amazed at the way the First Lady treated her husband. I had one long-term relationship with a man before I came out. I would never have treated him with such disrespect – and he wasn’t even the leader of the free world. Not because I was afraid of him, I wasn’t, but because I assumed that no human being worthy of the name would tolerate that kind of treatment. Nor should they.

Anyway. Go read my essay!

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5 Responses to “New Essay at The Spearhead”

  1. Jeff Y. Says:

    I'm a man, and I'm learning things from your published insights. Thanks.

  2. Female Misogynist Says:

    Glad to hear it, Jeff. Welcome.

  3. charles Says:

    I really enjoy your posts.AH

  4. charles Says:

    I really enjoy your posts.AH

  5. Female Misogynist Says:

    Charles,Thank you!

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