A much needed laugh

Had to work late today, even though I’m not all the way recovered, so I’m worn out. Plus, a couple of people said stupid things that annoyed me, which made me grouchy. So I turned to that wonderful male invention, the Internet, for distraction.

I had a sudden impulse to see if there was any factual information about Dick Masterson. I only occasionally stop by his site, because he has taken the basic fact – that men are superior to women – and exaggerated it to a ludicrous degree. But he is often freaking hilarious, as in this post:

I was watching Lord of War the other day when I arrived at a frightening conclusion. Nicolas Cage is so manly that everyone can shut the fuck up. That’s why women hate him so much. Nicolas Cage knows no mercy or compassion and it’s obvious in every fucking move that he makes. That’s why his nose looks all fucking weird like that. Like Nero or something. Because he’s like an eagle that’s ten stories tall. He’s a wrecking ball with an indestructible spike welded to the side that makes it look like a cool three dimensional representation of the biological man sign.

The post concludes, “His feet are made of man ice.”

So while I was googling, and not finding anything about the man behind the site (I guess he has a Man Shield over his Man Data), I came across a petition to “stop” him!

Stop him from doing what? Running a website? Appearing on talk shows where homely women boo him? Does the petitioner imagine that anything Dick Masterson says is remotely likely to become political reality? Spending time “fighting” Dick Masterson is about as useful an investment of one’s time as opposing the Flat Earth Society.

But the petition is hilarious. First, the URL:

http://www.petitionspot.com/petitions/StodDick

I’m pretty sure that was supposed to be “StopDick”.

The petitioner is anonymous. Here is the entire text of the petition:

If you dont no dick masterson I`ll compare you to him to man you most likely do know, Hitler. Like Hitler he is trying to turn a whole world against one group of people. He hates women. He says he don`t while he has on his website and i quote “Every Woman is a Cheating Whore”. He of coarse he makes no sense. He has a book AND a youtube AND as I said a website. He need to be stoped. Sign my petition and get him off of youtube.

The goal is to get 100,000 signatures. So far, they have… 45. The petition was initiated on August 14, 2008.

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9 Responses to “A much needed laugh”

  1. huxxx Says:

    I signed it for the lulz

  2. benignbullet Says:

    You do a MANstanding job, FM – I love your articles.And no, it's never ceased to amaze me how whimmin can't seem to translate the satire of Dick Masterson into a suggestion to look at their own behavior and shortcomings (I think his coarse and crass words "between their eyes" is just what they need – coddling and "being civil" has made spoiled children of too many of them).Hey! You should stop by now and then; to help us point this out to them.If you ever "go the other way again," you know where to find me!menarebetterthanwomen.com

  3. Monad Says:

    myspace.com/daxer

  4. 1n4001 Says:

    That petition reminds me of an article on The Onion. Why u no make hulk 2?The petition gets funnier when you read it in Hulk's cartoon voice.

  5. Peter Says:

    When I was younger I lamented not having political opinions. In fact I envied people who had strong opinions, whatever their leanings. During this impressionable time I met a cute girl whose politics I adopted. Before I knew it I was a male feminist, a pro-choicer, etc. Not a hard view to accept given the light the mainstream media casts.In the following years she gave me an incredible life experience. She taught me about sex, art, companionship. I knew at the time that she'd had an abortion in high school (before I'd met her) and didn't think much of it. It's only recently I've looked at her lifestyle under a different light.That relationship, and all that great sex I enjoyed, wouldn't have been the same (or even possible) without that past abortion. Now I imagine being stuck in the Twilight Zone and asked, "would you sacrifice an infant you'll never know for a meaningful relationship with a woman?" What a lot of men haven't considered is that often this choice has already been made for them. Perhaps multiple times over. And especially if their girl is 'experienced'. It's a sign of the times.I don't intend to moralize (heck, I don't know what my Twilight Zone answer would be). But instead I'll say thanks a lot for your writing, which has helped me see more.

  6. Welmer Says:

    Dick Masterson was created by Californian writer, comedian and coder Dax Herrera. He mainly writes detective novels, I think, and is a very bright guy who used to be heavily involved in SEO.

  7. thewanderinggentleman Says:

    I also enjoy Dick Masterson for a bit of a laugh. It's not entirely conducive to intelligent discussion, but a laugh nonetheless. His ludicrous style actually makes more legitimate discussions like yours seem more acceptable.

  8. Deborah Says:

    "He of coarse he makes no sense"In context of that paragraph, this is probably the most ironically hilarious sentence in the site.

  9. globalman100 Says:

    FM,Dick is MAN HERO. I came across his site and bought his book. EVERY young man should have a copy of his book by his bed and should read the gospel according to DICK EVERY DAY. There is so much MAN Genius in his book it's amazing. I was 44 when I read it and he blew my mind away. He is so right it's amazing. I even plonked down a very healthy donation to the MAN Billboard. In my view he makes NO exaggerations at all. All women are whores. Until I really, really got that I didn't understand women at all. His forums have been over-run by women despite the fact no women are even allowed there. Some of the women on there agree 110% with him. The great thing about Dick is he is so 'in the face' of the femnazis and destroys them with his man satire. I love it that he does things like gets guys to call in about "what is the dumbest thing you have ever seen a woman cry over". He gets answers like "she ran out of jello". Young men need to be shown how crap women are now so they dont do something stupid like let one of them into his house!

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